Since writing books I’ve referred to family and childhood experiences that have shocked my parents or disappointed them. “I didn’t know you felt like that” they’ll say or “that’s not what we meant” I know it comes from a place of love and I also know that they always did the best they could with what they had. It also turned out to be more than enough. So this is for them and the flip side of some of the interpretations they may have weathered when I’ve shared my stories over the years.
The problem with being an author is that your inner thoughts become public property and so does your personal story or the way you perceived past events. There’s also the impact of artistic license that I appreciate can cut pretty deep!
Mum and Dad didn’t have much but they always made sure I had what I needed. Shelter, safety and love was there in abundance. I have fond memories that didn’t revolve around material gifts but the real stuff, the things that mattered and as a result I never felt like I was missing out.
On the eve of their birthdays this is a blog for them and all they’ve taught me and what I value most about life.
Gratitude kindness and compassion are values I hold dear today because you instilled them in me. You set my moral compass in the right direction. You celebrated all our achievements, big and small, academic and otherwise.
Despite travelling all around the world and living on opposite sides of the globe I know that wherever I am you’re with me. You allowed me to leave so I could come back better.
Not everyone has faired so well with their upbringing and this makes me grateful to draw on those solid foundations you built and grow into the person I am today. I never appreciated all the hard work you did behind the scenes making ends meet and building a life for us as kids.
You taught us how to weather the storms, to be kind to others, to believe in something bigger than yourself and that tomorrow is always another day.
Every decision was made with our best interests at heart, even the ones we disagreed on. You always let me find my own way, even when you thought I was heading in the wrong direction. Most of the time I worked it out because of the way you’d brought me up and the unconditional love and support you offered along the way.
You passed the biggest challenge with flying colours when I came out. Knowing this may be at odds with a history of beliefs at the core of your Christianity and societal norms that surround you, your love for me won out and for that I am forever grateful.
As a teenager parents are always uncool and because as teenagers we think we know everything we devalue all the things they’ve taught us. I remember often thinking, I’ll never be like my parents! Now I’m in my late thirties and each day I feel like I’m turning into my parents. Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out! It makes me smile and I’m proud of it these days, having gained the wisdom and experience of life I thought I was too cool for as a teenager – and maybe some more humility along the way! Again that’s down to Mum and Dad so if I do turn out like them as I age I won’t be disappointed. They are my role models and have made me what I am today.
I get all the praise, they did a lot of the hard work. I am special because you thought I was. You should be proud of what you’ve achieved and I’m grateful to call you my parents.