This is my first royalty cheque. I kept it because it cost more to cash than it was worth. It’s less than $5US. My first book was a flop but did this mean I was a flop as an author? Well four books later it turns out it was just that I had a lot to learn. The last four years have been a big learning curve and as I reflect on the success of book four I’m grateful to have been able to put all those lessons into practice.
So often we see failure as the end of the road, proof we’re not good enough so we stop trying. In reality we’re never going to be good at something we’ve never done when we try it for the first time, unless it’s a lucky fluke! We have to learn, to practice and often a long that route we’ll fail. That’s often how we learn our biggest lessons so why do we see it as a negative and proof we’re not good enough.
We fear failure and so often see it as a negative yet in reality it’s how we learn. It’s often a stepping stone to success and therefore a positive we should embrace on our journey of growth and development. Some organisations are now encouraging more risk taking and being open to failing because they’ve figured out it’s how we become more innovative and explore ideas and push the boundaries of what’s possible – if we’re not fearing failure but rather learning from mistakes to continuously improve.
It’s an approach I’m a massive fan of and have seen work for myself and my own business. But it’s a work in progress too. It’s not like flicking a switch and requires us to undo years of conditioning encouraging us to avoid failure and that it’s a negative, proof we’re not good enough.
It’s something I refer to as the competence confidence loop. When we try something new for the first time and get out of our comfort zone, like a new job or challenge it’s where we can fear failure the most. But as time goes on and we learn and grow in the role and overcome the challenge the feeling lessens. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable when we get out of our comfort zone, to worry about failing or not being as good as people think. But when we try and succeed we collect evidence of our competence and this in turn boosts our confidence. This of course may include some rerouting around our mistakes along the way as we learn to succeed!
When we get out of our comfort zone one of two things will happen. Either we’ll succeed (and enter that competence confidence loop) or we’ll fail – and learn something that helps us succeed next time around (with the same impact on our competence confidence loop). Too often we think that failure is a negative, that it’s proof our imposter syndrome is right but it’s often part of the competence confidence loop, the longer way around to the same destination.
I teach more about relating to fear and failure and the confidence competence loop in my workshops which are available for your business or team now. Or why not book yourself into this years public one day workshop in Wellington on 25 May.