I had the privilege of speaking on the TEDx stage recently. It was an awesome experience and so much work that tested and challenged me. With 6 months prep time, workshops and learning this is the most time I’ve ever spent preparing a talk in my life. All 15 minutes of it had to be memorised word for word too. No slides, no teleprompt, no notes – this was a first for me. Add to that the on off nature and uncertainty of our Covid world where events like this are concerned. Along with the challenge from the coaches to be more vulnerable, share more of myself on the stage and I was well and truly out of my comfort zone.
With family in the audience and hundreds from across the globe waiting on the livestream I stood backstage waiting for my call. Made up and mic’d up I was terrified and I’m a professional speaker so I thought I’d left the stage fright behind long ago.
So what got me through and why was it a success? Largely it’s down to these well worn tactics I’ve employed for years and certainly fell back on to get through this experience.
Stay calm
The biggest barrier to memorising a script in front of a live audience is nerves but it’s that very thing that makes us nervous in the first place! I knew if the nerves took hold I’d be more likely to forget, have mind blanks and stuff up. It was vital I put a lid on my fears and remain calm in order for me to deliver this well.
We admire those who are calm and composed and it’s something we can create even when we feel nerves on the inside. It’s a trait the helps us navigate set backs, conflict, relationships and in the face of a challenge the best advice is always to stay calm. It helps us respond rather than react and be thoughtful with our actions. It also gives our brains the chance to think as we act and therefore be more considered in our approach.
Relying on the old adage count to ten, take a deep breath. It breaks the thought cycle of anxious, nervous minds or when we get side tracked by thoughts about everything that could go wrong!
Taking deep breaths, affirmations and meditation are all great strategies and I use all three. I meditated backstage before going on to calm my heart rate and ground myself. I’ve also meditated for the decade leading up to this which helps too! Taking deep breaths when I was backstage ready to enter really helped tap back into this calm feeling when the heart rate began to rise again. Now there’s a certain amount of energy and adrenaline that’ll help us perform – it’s why some people do press ups and star jumps before going on stage. But if you’re already full of nervous energy and adrenalin you’ll probably need to balance that out.
Those who’ve been to my workshops or events know that one of my favourite mantras for this kind of situation is “I’m calm, confident and capable” repeating this or something similar in my head over and over helps me embody what I’m saying and offset the nerves. If you tell the brain something often enough it will believe it to be true.
Be Prepared
If I’ve put the prep in then I know it’s as good as it can be. If I’ve done the work I’m more confident in the end result. A good nights sleep the night before is the best preparation for a clear, calm mind.
I also want to plan how this will play out, both visualising the success, how I’ll feel coming off stage and practicing the hell out of what I’m about to deliver. But also considering how I’d navigate anything that didn’t go to plan, how do I prepare for the worst case scenarios?
What’s the worst that can happen? Most of the time our fear relates to failure, looking foolish, getting it wrong. When we rationalise the worst case scenario in our head and plan for this or develop strategies to offset this then the fear diminishes. As my heart rate increased backstage I thought to myself ‘what’s the worst that can happen?’ I fall over on stage, the mic stops working, I forget my lines, I freeze. Then I went back through all of this to figure out the answers, how would I resolve it if these worst case scenarios come about.
No-one knows my script but me so they won’t know I’ve lost my lines. Any freezes can be taken as pauses, edited out of the video and we’d developed a strategy on stage with a table and water jug so those struggling could pour a glass of water to gather themselves mid talk. If I fall over or lose sound people may laugh but they’ll forgive me, it’s not so bad, I certainly won’t be the first or the last! As a back up the dress rehearsal was filmed and the video can be edited so really the worst case scenarios are not really that bad!
The support you surround yourself with
Surround yourself with cheerleaders, people who support and encourage you, who back you and stand beside you. This was my family in the audience but also my partner helping me get ready, reminding me about things I might have forgotten, asking me what I need, ironing my shirt etc. She’d also been there the weeks before as I rehearsed at home. She’d probably seen this talk 20 times before the live version!
Having the coaches whisper words of encouragement back stage helped, as did the high fives and fist pumps post match too!
Let go of perfect and it’ll be great
Despite practising this daily for 3 months there were still small errors on the day, words I used differently, pauses I forgot to make and a couple of minor things I missed out. Could you tell? Probably not. Was it still good? I think so. It was never going to be perfect word for word and nor did it need to be but close enough is good enough and the bits I missed didn’t change the delivery, the message or the impact it made. If I beat myself up or worried about those small mistakes I’d have risked throwing the whole thing out and getting lost. Done is better than perfect and perfect should not get in the way of good.
Fear is inevitable when we get out of our comfort zone and yet we shouldn’t let it stop us. These strategies have helped me face countless fears and continue to do so as I push myself out of my comfort zone and grow.