I’m recovering from knee surgery, everything is very slow right now! Within a week I’d gone from step counts, yoga classes and surf reports to measuring how many more degrees my knee now bends and setting goals for straightening my leg. It’s painfully slow, quite literally.
As always though, these times teach us. This forced slowness allows me to rest and recover, to take time out and use this inward focused time at home to think and create whilst I can’t be out and about.
It’s left me reflecting on how grateful I am to have access to this kind of health care. The support of my family whilst I rehab and the flexibility of my work. It’s also taught me that we often take for granted the simple things like the ability to walk, until we can’t and then we realise what a blessing it is. As with many things in life we don’t realise how lucky we are until we get the chance to miss it or it’s taken away.
For anyone who is strong and independent you’ll know how hard it is when you need help. When even putting your own socks on becomes a mammoth task! The frustration of even the smallest activities being a challenge. Making a cup of tea, wanting to make the fire or do some washing. Yet it’s good practice for us because it forces us into having to ask for help, rely on support and know that we’re not a superhero and nor do we need to be strong and independent all the time.
I’m also mindful that I’m unable to do some of the activities I rely on for my own self care and mental health. Yoga and surfing are off the list for some months, walking isn’t an option for a while. I can’t even sit in my usual meditation posture. It’s meant readjusting and coming up with a plan B for self care. Focusing on what I still can do rather than grieving for what I can’t. I can still watch others surf and spend time at the beach in the sun. I can journal, listen to podcasts, read. I’m able to meditate laying down. The dog loves having me home 24/7 too!
So I now have different measures of success for the next few months, from miles ran to millimetres moved. Yet whilst it’s slow it’s still progress. It reminds me of the saying that whatever we do in a day with what we have is good enough. My goals look very different for the next few months and I’m making peace with that. As most high achievers will tell you, that’s the hardest part. Moderating your expectations and flexing based on where you’re at. Admitting that whilst we’re all capable of brilliance we won’t be brilliant every day.
So for now I’ll celebrate the small wins, readjust my expectations and know that even small steps lead to the same destination.