As a kid I was blissfully unaware of the work Mum put into Christmas. Not just presents and cards but all the social organising and family gatherings, food shopping and event planning. This was after a year of working full time and how she spent her precious ‘Christmas break’.
I remember opening a present one Christmas morning and Dad saying “that’s nice who got you that?”, the tag said with love from Mum and Dad. “You did” I said.
We talk a lot about the mental load or the invisible load and I think women are great at making this look so easy it often appears invisible. Families don’t see the workload that goes into making Christmas great, not to mention the careful balance of all the family dynamics and relationships across a festive period marinated in booze!
And of course we can’t complain. It’s for the kids, it’s the joy of Christmas and all the other stories we tell ourselves or we’ve grown up being told. This reoccurring theme of sacrificing ourselves for the good of the family, being last on our own list and the one who has to think about and organise everything surfaces at Christmas too.
Add to that work pressures, end of year burnout and it really is vital we get a break during the summer break. Yet Christmas often feels like the opposite or adds to the pressure and guilt of taking time for ourselves.
With burnout now being more common in women than men, this year I’ve developed this handy Christmas load quiz to help you check in on your festive overwhelm and develop some strategies to help find the joy again.
Up to 5 ticks
Keep an eye on how this might creep up, prioritise time for you and ensure you’re a sustainable resource. Leave work at work and make sure this break really is a break for you. Check out the free resources on the website to help.
5-10 ticks
It’s getting to the point of overwhelm and you need a break so make sure you prioritise it. It’ll make you a better person and stop this getting any worse. Taking the bins out and mowing the lawn just doesn’t cut it anymore, your partner needs to step up too and share the load. Check out the tips below and why not invest in some summer reading and get your copy of Burnout to Brilliance
More than 10 ticks
Quite simply that’s enough! It’s an unequal distribution of work both in the office and at home that’s going to lead you to burn out. Consider if you may benefit from setting better boundaries, or if they (colleagues and partners) could step up. This is often a sign that the relationship (both at work and at home) is unequal and unfair
It’s something we can all take responsibility for and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Rather than waiting for permission to find time for you or putting it off again see this as a non negotiable for your health and a burnout intervention because if you don’t take steps now that’s what it will become.
Check out the tips below and if you need some help developing practical strategies to bring this to life why not download the Burnout to Brilliance online course. If you feel like this has gone to far already and you’re struggling with burnout out find help and support available for free in NZ here
7 top tips to survive the Christmas overload:
· What’s one thing you can do for you that feels achievable?
· Be organised and make a plan
· Don’t compare your Christmas to anyone elses
· Set yourself realistic expectations and know that there will always be things out of your control
· Sit down with your partner and make a list of all that needs doing and agree how it’ll be split
· Delegate - allow others to help and take responsibility without feeling like you’ve failed
· Also allow them to do a less than perfect job of whatever you’ve delegated and know it’s a small price to pay for giving you more time and space