With family overseas still in the midst of the Covid battle I keep forgetting, moving freely around New Zealand, how lucky we are and just how we’ll we’ve done. But before Covid-19 becomes a distant memory for us let’s reflect on what we’ve learned and make use of this experience for our greater good.
I read a post a few weeks ago saying of you’re not panicking about this there’s something wrong with you, you’re not normal. I paused to consider this, was I missing something?
I was seemingly breezing through lock down. I feared as an introvert lock down would suit me well and maybe I’d suffer this end – reintegration and reverse culture shock – but no. It’s been nice mixing with people I missed, getting out and about, not having to queue at the supermarket and going for dinner and weekends away again.
It’s not that I’ve been unaffected by covid-19, although I acknowledge I’m in a position of privilege. With my closest family overseas in covid ravaged countries there’s worry and concern about the separation. I know people who’ve lost loved ones overseas and not been there for funerals – and this is a very real prospect. I saw half of my business disappear overnight when conferences and events ground to a halt and a book launch with no books midway through lockdown, a looming wedding that none of my family may be able to attend. Plus the challenge we’ve all had of coping with being on house arrest for a month!
I don’t share my experience to revel in my seemingly perfect life – it’s not – it’s a human life like everyone else but I tell you this because despite that I’ve remained calm, happy and content so as I reflect on the reasons why I want to share those lessons.
We never know what’s around the corner yet we all want to have control over life. We want things to be a certain way, to turn out how we planned. And of course it’s life so inevitably it doesn’t. We have a tendency to chase after the good stuff and hope it never goes away and yet avoid the challenges in life or numb out our pain. It’s a normal part of the human condition but also the root cause of much of our suffering. Something I learned from studying Buddhism with monks and nuns across the globe. The art of acceptance. Instead of trying to change it accept what you can’t change. Like lock down, like being separated from loved ones overseas, like losing half your business overnight.
Having said that though, a massive part of being resilient is to take positive action to solve problems and change what you CAN. The things we have control over is where we must focus our attention and take action. Checking in on family more often despite not being with them, pivoting the business and making the best of lockdown to stay healthy and well.
Mind-set is such a massive part of this – it’s less about what happens to us and more about how we react to it. The things that have made the biggest difference to me in this space have been controlling my device time. A lack of technology and scrolling, filtering negative news and people positively impacts our state of mind.
Meditation is something I’ve done daily for a decade and I attribute as the single biggest reason I’m so calm and content, it allows me space, processing time and perspective. There are a hundred different ways to meditate, it’s not all about oms and incense so find what works for you and make space in your life for space. The impacts on our mental health of something seemingly so simple can not be underestimated.
Exercise – I saw so many people walking and cycling during lockdown which was great – I guess there was nothing else to do and it was the only way to get the kids out of the house. That seems to have disappeared in our return to normal now. Did you gain exercise or lose it during lock down and how can you ensure you continue getting out in nature, spending time with family and getting enough exercise?
I also noticed things I didn’t miss that seemingly because I didn’t miss them I now know I can go without – shopping and buying new stuff for example. Commuting into the city everyday because much of the work can be done from home.
It’s also been key to note who’s enjoyed their bubble and why. The people you surround yourself with is so key but never more so than in lock down. These are the people that influence our thoughts and energy (either positively or negatively) and also those we gain support from.
The other lesson I saw from lock down was our attachment to busyness. Being forced to slow down and not have to be everywhere doing everything was a glimpse at a new normal. So do we have to fill the diary with things to do to make the most of life and social time out of work – classes, drinks, events etc. Do the kids have to do an activity after school everyday or be in all the sports teams at the weekend? Where can we find more balance in this space?
All this is critical to our mental state, building our resilience and how we handle tough times. We don’t know when the next pandemic may come and of course it may not take the form of a pandemic – earthquakes, terrorism, health issues. We never know what’s around the corner and much of what comes our way on a global scale we’ll not have control of. The only thing we can control is how we show up, the way we invest in our own health to tackle it and how we chose to react to it. This is key to staying well in the face of life’s challenges be it personal or global.
We've also seen a new kind of leader celebrated as part of the global pandemic. A leader who favours collaboration, empathy and kindness. A team of 5 million that protect each other and make individual sacrifices for the good of all. Not only has this impacted the example we set our children, how we live together in Aotearoa but has also lead to the rest of the world taking notice, recognising the success this example has demonstrated. This I believe could lead to the biggest impact on our new normal.
So what did you learn from lockdown and how does it change life going forward? Use these experiences to define your new normal rather than rushing back to all the things that made life difficult in the first place.
Want to chat about defining your new normal? Book a free 20 minute consultation call to find out more.