When I came to Wellington I had one book published to my name, no-one had really bought it and I knew no-one. I set up a meet up group and started to put on free events in a bid to build my network and share my message. I rented a community hall for $10 and sometimes sold a book at these events, but sometimes I’d be all set up like this (image above) and no-one would show up – even though it was free to attend!
I felt like a failure but it also made me realise there was a lot I needed to learn about marketing and events, so I set about learning. I built a website, learned how to use social media effectively and started to build a database. I had flyers printed and began sending messages to other groups who might let me speak at their events.
I could have quit, it was tempting at times, I thought about giving up. But I knew I could succeed if I just learned what I didn’t know. I was driven to make this happen but I was also open to failing along the way as an inevitable part of the process. Not seeing it as proof I’m not cut out for this but a lesson I need to learn.
Slowly work of mouth grew and by the time I launched my second book in Wellington I’d been here 2 years and filled the venue with a crowd of people who outnumbered my friends and family (who I expected to be there!) – even the president of the National Council for Women came, along with my PR agent. Times had changed and things continued to grow from there along with my confidence.
The same strategies and tactics landed me this speaking gig alongside Mike King just one year later (see below). During the same year I appeared on TV, in magazines and on the radio. I became known as an expert in my field and now rather than chasing speaking gigs I was being sought out and paid thousands. This was my dream but it took a lot of hard work to get there.
It’s also worth mentioning that this big event, which should have taken place this week was cancelled due to Covid-19 border restrictions so it felt timely to reflect on how far I’ve come rather than what could have been this week!
I share this because so often we see failure as the end of the road, proof we’re not cut out for this. Yet no-one writes a book and turns into a best seller overnight (unless they are a celebrity), no-one becomes a speaker and get’s the big stage on their first gig. We all have to start somewhere and practice, we have to make mistakes to learn and we have to learn to grow and as part of that journey we will experience failure. It’s part of the process.
This process has taught me the value in failure and learning from mistakes. It has also helped me grow and build my confidence so I can feel like I own my place on these stages now. I wouldn’t have done a few years ago, I needed that practice and learning to feel comfortable and confident doing what I do now.
When we get out of our comfort zone we’ll either succeed or fail and learn something we needed to know in order to succeed, either way the path leads to the same place. When we prove ourselves competent our confidence grows and it’s then we step into our power and succeed in our goal.
This also now adds to my credibility. It becomes like a snowball this competence, confidence loop and the more success you experience and growth you have the more opportunities it leads to, including taking the TEDx stage for me this year.
Even those you look up to and aspire to be had to start somewhere and have probably learned a lot along the way. With consistency and being open to failure we can go far, this has certainly been my experience.
