It’s that time of year when we’re trying to be different, focus on new goals and stick to resolutions. Often they’re big sweeping statements that run the risk of setting us up to fail, or they’re similar goals we tried last year that return at the start of every year – get fit, lose weight, change jobs – you know the ones!
I always start by looking at what went well in the last year, what can i build from, what habits am I proud of that I want to keep and can leverage. From here I can then look at what do I want to do differently and what might I stop and start doing this year.
Starting small is the key. I wanted to change my relationship with technology but banning it all together or removing all my apps was not practical. So I’ve stopped taking my phone into the bedroom, removed my notifications, downloaded a screen time app and committed to one day detox per month – much more achievable. I’ve also unfollowed all the accounts i’ve noticed make me feel inferior, not enough or just sad – like the news 😉
Making our goals achieveable means we’re far more likely to stick to them. Remembering our why gives us the motivation to keep going. If we simply want to lose weight that’s not enough to sustain us all year or resist temptation when it arises. However if it’s linked to our health or running a marathon or an up coming wedding we’ve got a why and therefore increased motivation.
Really it’s about habit forming and votes for the kind of person we want to be. Long ago I stopped counting weight and focused on my health when I looked at new year goals. The activities are the same in terms of my exercise routines and what I eat but my focus shifts and it has become more rewarding and much easier to stick to. I want to be healthy and fit regardless of what the scales say. The offset of this of course is that the behaviour this desire drives means my clothes still fit!
When we set new goals it's really all about behaviour change and forming new habits. As we watched the Queens speech after Christmas dinner (an English tradition) she spoke of the power of small habits to effect change. It's so easy to get lost in big sweeping statement and audacious New Year goals which we then struggle to keep.
It's all about the small changes, getting the ball rolling and giving ourselves the best chance. Here’s some more tips.
Make it easy – I have an array of health supplements I keep meaning to take but if they're in the cupboard I forget, putting them next to the kettle means I take them daily when I get up each morning and make a cup of tea. Making a habit easy means it's more likely to get done and become part of our routine. Like having your gym kit in the car when you go to work to workout on the way home. It's why Netflix binges are so easy – because it's easier to leave it running on autoplay than to press stop after one episode.
Off course the opposite is also true. To stop bad habits making them harder helps. If I don't buy biscuits at the supermarket I know I'm not going to smash a packet of them in one sitting!
Surround yourself with like minded people – usually when I'm in the UK for winter I do a lot of eating and not much exercise, it's easy to do when back home with family. This year with my active partner with me I found myself going along to the gym with her. We're more likely to keep up good habits when we're with others who have those habits. If you're cutting back on drinking a weekend with boozy mates is always going to make that harder.
Make it rewarding – I never used to like going to the gym but loved the sauna, now I do both and the post workout sauna is my reward, the bit I look forward to and the bit that motivates me to get to the gym in the first place! Linking new habits to things you already enjoy makes it more attainable and more likely you'll stick to it.
So what am I doing differently this year?
1. Maintaining a healthy relationship with technology (see above)
2. Making it harder to fall into the comparison trap so I can focus on me and stop feeling like I’m falling short when comparing to others
3. Leveraging what’s worked well in 2019 - making sure I stick to the things that serve me well – yoga, meditation and getting out in nature
4. Focusing on my health to ensure i stay at my best, being well nourished rather than limiting what i eat, moving everyday in a way that feels good – this includes just going for a walk rather than the gym on the days i’m tired.
5. Giving myself a break, allowing mistakes and not beating myself up - keeping things simple and not making life complicated!
Of course it doesn’t have to be a new year. A new month, a new week, even a new day is a clean slate to start again and it pays to remember this in our bid to stick to our new goals.